An Open Letter from Punkins (The Clinic Cat)

Gooday subjects, Hoomans,

I have decided to fill all of you in on my list of demands, I mean my life story. I blessed Long Trail Veterinary Center with my presence ~1 year ago. Since my promotion to dictator, I mean supervisor; some of the staff members have developed some resentment and placed me on what they call a “diet.” It is in fact a cruel and unusual form of torture. They “claim” that it is for my own good, and that I am at an “Unhealthy weight.”

When I first came to Long Trail I was a beautiful majestic 19.8 lbs. At this size I was worshipped by all who bore witness to my extravagance. Now I am a measly 12 lbs and I no longer feel the peasants that I work with shudder at my intimidating presence. My servants, I mean co-workers claim that a healthy weight for a cat of my magnitude should be closer to 10 lbs. I mean it is quite nice that I no longer limp, but I don’t think that those things are related to my weight.

To show my displeasure one of my subjects “forgot” her cat’s food at the office. I did the only thing that a cat in this position would do for another cat- I quality control checked the food prior to Danielle bringing it home. Of course, Danielle couldn’t make this job easy for me; leaving me no other option but to chew a hole in the bag in order to get some of the food out. Don’t worry, I was nice enough to share with the other imprisoned cat Oscar.

Stay tuned for my newest opinions on the newest Servant, I mean Dr. Lockerby.

With adequate distaste for my current diet situation,

Punkins